Few things set my heart to rumbling as quickly as lack of sleep. Considering the thoughts we discussed regarding rest earlier in this series, this shouldn’t surprise me. And perhaps it doesn’t always surprise me as much as it catches me off guard and floods my being with regret.
The noise of the heart can be difficult to contain. I remember once my brother cranked the speakers in the living room and the sound reverberated well beyond the walls of the house. Had we lived closer to neighbours I’m sure they would have enjoyed Sousa’s marches as much as we did that afternoon, windows rattling in protest. Sound carries. Noise disrupts.
This morning was clear evidence of the ugly overflow of the heart’s noise. My own insecurities rose in my throat like bile and spilled in a sloppy mess onto a co-worker. And he, from his own place of noise, lashed back. It was messy. Ugly. He yelled, I cried.
As we stood there picking up the pieces and I struggled to grasp the noise and chaos of my reeling heart I realized that you cannot contain noise. Sound carries. Noise disrupts: whether it’s the noisy neighbour kids at two in the morning or the ugly overflow of an unquiet heart. And this morning was adequate reminder that cleaning up the mess and moving on is no easy feat.
“This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” ~ 1 John 3:19-20
God is greater than our hearts. He who is our rest and truth and the wellspring of overwhelming grace knows how often we sink into noise and get caught in the mess. He is greater than all of it and we belong to Him. We belong to the truth.
In truth, I’m never the one who cleans up the mess, the aftermath of the ugly overflow. He does that. When I come to Him pleading for rest and truth that comes only from Him, His mercy and love piece me back together again.
Thank you for joining me during these 31 Days to a Quiet Heart!