1. You start to wonder why the lines on the road are so pretty. And who put them there. And what it might be like to swerve in and out of the dotted lines like you used to do as a kid on your bike.
2. You attempt to stay awake with Karoake Night at the Matrix. (This involves you as the superstar, with the music cranked so loud that no one can tell you can’t actually sing, hold a tune or pull off the mind-blowing harmony you think you’ve perfected. It also involves Brad Paisley. I’m just sayin’.)
3. You realize that the mournful ballad you’ve chosen to listen to is making your eyes close. You also realize you haven’t actually started singing, and they’re in the last few measures. You switch to Great Big Sea.
4. While listening to Great Big Sea, you imagine going for coffee with the band for the purpose of 1) testing the quality of their fake Scottish brogue, 2) embarking on a lengthy discussion about homonyms, and 3) asking them how long it took them to memorize the lyrics to Mary Mac.
5. You begin to wonder whether Brad Paisley could defeat Great Big Sea in a duel. With swords, of course. Because guns are dangerous.