I was going to rant today about unfounded paranoia. I refrained, thinking it best to just leave it alone… it wasn’t a huge deal, just an annoyance at work. But then it seeped its way into my dream tonight, so I decided (retrospectively) to rant anyway. Apologies in advance.
My office takes up the entire third floor of our building. Once you get off one of the three elevators, I am the first person you see, lucky you! Besides my desk, there’s nothing more than walls, 4 doors, one chair and an old coffee table with outdated magazines. The 4 doors are always locked, and the rest of the office is hidden back in the inner recesses of the floor. It’s a little isolated, but does the job, I suppose.
Our building is also situated downtown… right near the park where most of the drunks and homeless people hang out and ask for money. And sometimes a particularly entrepreneurial individual will solicit local office buildings for money as well. Hence all the locked doors.
But I’m dawdling here… the crux of the issue comes down to the fact that when I’m away from my desk, the front office is completely exposed and unguarded. Not usually a big deal.
Apparently today it was. I was in the back putting supplies away when the president of the company bursts in and exclaims, “I could have just stolen your computer.”
It took a great deal of energy not to laugh. No one would steal my computer. It’s slower than molasses, only runs on Windows 95 and is heavier than a mini van. So first of all I had to repress the image of Peter (Mr. Pres) trying to lift the machine, let alone to stealthily move on to the elevator with it. Then I had to stop myself from saying, “Oh really? Would I get a newer machine if that happened??” So I simply stared at him, my jaw clamped to keep the smile off my face.
He ignored my lack of response and went on to say that we can’t just leave things exposed like that. Someone must be there at all times. “We’ve had a projector stolen before, you know!” Yes, I know, I know. By the crazy criminal woman who also stole $8,000 from you by putting credit card refunds onto her personal cards. She’s gone, remember?
So I spent the rest of the day at my desk, wondering whether I needed to call someone to stand guard over my pen and mousepad while I went to the bathroom. A tad paranoid, no?
Anyway, after a brief rant with a co-worker who found the whole situation thoroughly amusing, I shrugged it off… or so I thought!
Friday night. Actually, it was early Saturday morning. I was dreaming that Len was choking. We were in bed, and he was shaking and choking, and I was completely frozen. I couldn’t get my voice to work, and I couldn’t move, and the panic was rising and rising… when suddenly he stops, looks at me, and laughs. “I was just kidding! Hahaha!”
I jerked myself awake. My throat felt raw from trying to speak, to call for help…
Drifted back to sleep. And the thing about morning dreams, is that they’re made of real life. They’re built around things you would normally do. Get up. Go to the bathroom. Those sorts of things. And they feel so real, vivid and in colour that when you wake up you’re a little disoriented, wondering how you fell back asleep, when, in fact, you hadn’t actually woken up yet.
So back to sleep. And I get up (in my dream) to go to the bathroom. I stand at the top of the stairs, and a black cat walks by. I think to myself, “Hey, we don’t have a black cat.” And that’s when I feel the breeze from the front door. It’s wide open, and suddenly I can see the whole house (without moving, of course). Everything is gone. The appliances, the counters, the rugs, the curtains. They even took the bathtub. For some reason, though, they left the bench in the foyer. And again I couldn’t speak or scream or anything.
I jerk myself awake again. At this point I don’t really want to go to sleep anymore. Two in a row is enough for me. Soft morning light is coming from behind the curtains, so I snuggle up to Len and try to just stare out the window and stay awake. But I fell asleep again.
Thankfully this time there were no dreams.
Made me a little paranoid though.